Results November 16, 2011

Received KJ’s report book.  He did well for all subjects.  Glad that he is happy with his results.   I am happy too.  Then came the news that the class that he is promoted to is the best in pri 3 level.

Don’t be mistaken that i am talking “wind breeze words” (风凉话）, but i am not too pleased with that.   KJ is not someone who is consistent with work.  He really really pushed himself very hard for this examination.   How am i going to tell him that he is to push himself just as hard or even harder and yet he will never get to the first 3 positions.   Now, in primary schools, there is this called Honors Day when only the tops get on stage to receive prizes.  The rest – no need to attend school.   You are thinking that “that’s good right? those who dun get on stage no need to feel the pinch on that day what!!! and still get one more school holidays than the so called top students”

Wrong!  before the Honors Day, all students are made to sit in the hall to see the “rehearsal” of the Honors Day.   Do schools care about the emotional development of students ? i doubt so….    Last year, KJ came home depressed after seeing his best friend “rehearsing” on stage to receive prize.   Even thou he was then the 10th in class (second best in the level), he told me he felt he was the “infinity last of the class”.   I was perturbed by his expression.  How did he know the meaning of “Infinity”.    I only studied the meaning of that word in ….????  poly….???

Then, i had encouraged him to do better for the next year so that he too could go on stage.   This year, even though he had pushed soooo hard on himself, he came in as 5th in the class.   Well, closer to the top three position but still cannot get to the stage yet.    So, next year, he will be in the top class with the top cream.   Not that i am down looking at my son, but those students in there are of different calibre.   It is a cut-throat situation, where students do not aim for 90 marks and above.   They are going for the full marks.   how am i going to tell him that there is nothing to aim for anymore ….

i do not need a top student as a son.  i want a son who is happy studying for his education.   So, apart from me studying my new subject for next year (science), i need to pay more attention on his emotion development.   i have to continue to encourage him to work hard and yet shield him from the unnecessary peers pressure…. haiz…

School life has never been so stressful till my own son went to school.  One more year, KZ will be primary one too…. by then i will have DOUBLE stress.   (lets not talk about mei mei yet…. ok!!!)

 

有口难言 November 3, 2011

have you ever got into situation where you are so crushed and yet all you can do is to munch on a Chinese Goldthread?

it is over October 31, 2011

examinations.  phew…. i thought i was done with textbooks and numbers calculation when i framed up my scroll.  Apparently – not.  🙂

coaching started early this year.   His work is getting harder.  At Pri 2, he is required to do fraction (adding and subtracting with diff denominators), volume, weight, problem sums that tested on English more than Math (???), 看图写段 (writing short composition), etc.   I could go on, but i really don’t want to scare mummies with young children… hahaha.   (i am mean, right???!!!!)

His weakest subject is Mother Tongue (MT).  So 2 weeks back, he has been practising his chinese vocabulary.   One chapter on each weekday, two chapters on weekends or PH.   Lucky, we managed to cover all chapters (total 22 chapters) in two weeks.  Cover – does not means conquering the text.  Just cover…. hahaha… already, this has been tough for him.   Then he was made to memorize phrases for the composition.   (who? ME! I made him memorized lah!!)     this is important for the composition to gain marks.  Now, teachers do not have the patience to develop genuine quality, they just want results fast.

I planned a schedule for his preparation work.  I used to have my own schedule for my examination planning.  It worked before and it will work again.  As a schedule tells me whether i have sufficient time to cover all subjects adequately.   I told him that as long as he followed my schedule religiously, he will be safe.   Not score but safe.   If he wants better results, then he has to do more than what i had planned for him.   🙂

I did not get any past years papers for him to do.   What for?  when he could not even finish his own revision books.   I had looked through his work in school and targeted at his weak points instead.   I repeatedly emphasised to him that i do not look at his score.  I just want the best he can do for me.   Though, i told him strictly that i do not tolerate careless mistakes.   I will consider punishment for careless mistakes.   😛

I took comfort at the thoughts that the IM training, I put him through, works.   So, this worth every penny that i spent on him.   He is more able to sit down and concentrate.  and thru the training, i am also blessed to receive knowledge to guide and coach him thru his examination preparation.   i gave him many breaks in-between his revision.   During the breaks, he was to “push the wall”, jump on the trampoline, do “bear walk”, do tug of war (with me!!!).   These help to boost his concentration and energy.   All activities must be done with  caution and with the right quantity (or dosage).   Too little – no effect.   Too much – over hyper.

We do not do food breaks or tv breaks, which are the usual breaks that kids received.   I find that these will slow down the brain process.

We finally made it thru… phew… next year, there will be additional subject, Science.   Keeping my fingers crossed.   😛

女人我最笨 October 23, 2011

但我笨地快乐，笨地高兴。就这样让我笨下去。。。不要粉碎我的白痴天堂。

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黄小琥 – 没那麽简单
作词：姚若龙 作曲：萧煌奇

没那麽简单 就能找到 聊得来的伴
尤其是在 看过了那麽多的背叛
总是不安 只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那麽简单 就能去爱 别的全不看
变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单 一久也习惯
不用担心谁 也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话 随便听一听 自己做决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上 关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那麽容易 每个人有他的脾气
过了爱做梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那麽容易 才会特别让人着迷
什麽都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经

想念最伤心 但却最动心 的记忆

我能当孟母吗？ October 13, 2011

人之初，性本善。性相近，习相远。

〖启示〗人生下来原本都是一样，但从小不好好教育，善良的本性就会变坏。所以，人从小就要好好学习，区分善恶，才能成为一个对社会有用的人才。
【译文】人生下来的时候都是好的，只是由于成长过程中，后天的学习环境不一样，性情也就有了好与坏的差别。

苟不教，性乃迁。教之道，贵以专。

〖启示〗百年大计，教育为本。教育是头等重要的大事。要想使孩子成为对社会有用的人才，必须时刻注意对孩子的教育，专心一致，时时不能放松。
【译文】如果从小不好好教育，善良的本性就会变坏。为了使人不变坏，最重要的方法就是要专心一致地去教育孩子。

昔孟母，择邻处。子不学，断机杼。

〖启示〗孟子所以能够成为历史上有名的大学问家，是和母亲的严格教育分不开的。做为孩子，要理解这种要求，是为了使自己成为一个有用的人才。
【译文】战国时，孟子的母亲曾三次搬家，是为了使孟子有个好的学习环境。一次孟子逃学，孟母就割断织机的布来教子。

 

Sometimes, i do wonder why i am so “hardworking” chauffeuring my two boys to their enrichment classes.    As they aged, their schedules differ more.   Meaning i have to run two different schedules for the two boys.  I wonder what happens when Princess’s turn is here.

With their therapies and enrichment classes, i am using up my jewelleries (yes, i am addicted to selling gold…i wonder what happens when everything is used up…).   i am very tired too.  Physically.   There were times i wish i could never wake up from my sleep.

Whenever, KZ reciting his 3-word chant 《三字经》, on hearing about 孟母  , i will think that even she could move house 3 bloody times for  孟子, so that he could be in a better environment for his development, my issues become too small even to talk about.

i do not need my sons to be the 孟子 of this century, i just want them to be able to contribute to the society.  Period.    To be a useful person.

That is the wish of a tired mother. 

 

if only God can be everywhere… September 28, 2011

God could not be everywhere, and therefore he created mothers.

Some time back we went to KKH for KZ’s checkup on his eyes.   His doctor was not pleased at all with his eyes.  She gave us one month to go back to her with KZ’s previous medical record from his previous doctor and old photos of his squint.   And she gave stern orders that KZ must patch his right eye for 3 hours daily.

3 hours daily.  It is very tough to do that.    The longest time we were told to patch was 2 hours daily, which was already tough enough for a 2-yr old then.  Now, he is 5.    Not only we have to deal with his sensory issues, we also have to deal with his gigantic ego.     He can say NO, he can take it out himself, he can fight his way out – just to get that eye patch off his eye.

To be fair, wearing the eye patch is uncomfortable.   If he is in cranky mood, he will tears and the patch will be wet and soggy and uncomfortable.   If he is in ok mood, the eye patch is stuffy and make his eye feeling warm and uncomfortable too.

For the last few weeks, i had forced, tricked, bluffed, threatened my way thru to get his right eye patched for 3 hours a day.    The doctor told me i can break the patching into 2 x 1.5hr daily.    i usually count myself lucky if i can get 2 hours in a day.    If he is willing to bear with it for 3,  he already made my day.    I got him a little book to keep his collection of stickers that he earned for every 1.5hr of patching his right eye.

On Monday, we were to return to KKH for the appointment.   Before we left the house, he reminded me to bring his “sticker book”.   Mentally, i made preparation to do what i need to do.  I rehearsed my lines and put on BB Cream to thicken my facial skin.    I put on light makeup and accessories to make myself the beautiful mother who knows no shame.

At the hospital, the first staff we came in contact is the lovely nurse who did our registration.   I remembered that she was also the one who did our payment during the last visit and she encouraged KZ to put his eye patch.   I gave her the biggest smile i could master and shoved KZ’s little sticker book right in front of her.  “Sister, do you remember Kai Zhi? You told him to put eye patch?  And these are all his stickers that he collected for putting his eye patch….”   I flipped thru his little book to show off his stickers.  i noticed a little tiny smile appeared on KZ’s lips.  I think he never expects his mother to show case his achievement like that.    The nurse was sweet.   She immediately gave a exaggerated surprise expression and she looked soooo please with KZ.   i told her in exaggerated tone, “Sister, to date, Kai Zhi has collected 90 stickers!  Isn’t he great?!!!”    The nurse pulled him aside and gave him two BIG pieces of Angry Birds stickers.   He was beaming like a little prince.

Every nurse, doctor and staff that we came into contact with, I did the same…. i shoved the little sticker book right into their faces and told them about how well my son did.   How proud i am of him and how much hard work he did….. To each of them, i always ended with this “to date, Kai Zhi has collected 90 stickers!  Isn’t he great?!!!!”    Some parents looking on, might thought that i was koo koo.

End of the day, the doctor was satisfied with his eyes’ condition and we were given another appointment in 4-month time.    The doctor said to KZ, “you know what, you are the BEST  ….” while flipping thru the pages of his sticker book.

That afternoon, KZ was the happiest boy at the Eye Centre, KKH.

End of the day, i was exhausted.   Mentally and emotionally exhausted.    I could not speak much or involve in much conversation.    It was like the stress built up in that afternoon had to be released out and my energy level which was depleted so drastically had to be refilled.    At one point of view, i was proud of my little hero to have such achievement.  Wonder how many kids have to bear the eye patch on the eye for 3 hours daily!!!  Not many can do it, i believe.   At another view, my heart ached as i showed off my son’s hardwork.   Everyday when he peeled off the sticky patch off his eye, strands of his eye brows will be pulled off at the same time.   As his mother, i feel his pain everytime  he peeled off the patch with “ouch ouch ouch…”    As proud as any mother showing off her son’s school results, i was as proud as a peacock showing off how many eye patches he had to bear with.   Each sticker on his little book cost him 1.5hr of comfort.   Each sticker on his little book is a prick in my heart.

Yesterday morning, while i was waiting for KZ to finish his therapy, i was drinking tea at coffeebeans when i suddenly burst out crying.  I was not particularly sad but just felt that i have to pour out my emotion or stress by crying out loud.   I dun know if anyone was looking at me, i just concentrated on my wailing.  It was a truly relaxing outburst that any ray of happiness was unwelcome.

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” Agatha Christie

is it Mothers’ Day yet? September 18, 2011

Last two days i have been crying….

because of youtube!

i happened to chance upon this video on 中国四川大地震 and the tragic of all children lost and all orphans found.   i knew about the earthquake and knew about the death tolls, now then i learnt that there were so many tragic stories and the greatest of mothers after the quake.

i know Mothers’ Day is over, but this is just too much for me to bottom up on my own.

There is this particular story that made me cried buckets.  (now, i am still tearing while writing this…)    When the rescuers found this young mother, she had died, killed by the house that collapsed. She died in a very unusual posture. She was kneeling on the floor, the whole upper body stretched forward with her arms supporting her whole body. The posture looked like the kneeling Koutou etiquette in ancient China, but her body was completely distorted by the pressure. When people cleared away the rubble around her, they found a baby was lying underneath her body, wrapped up in a small red blanket with golden patterns. The baby was about 3 to 4 months old. Because of the protection from his mother’s body, he was still peacefully asleep when found. The rescuing doctor found a mobile phone inside the blanket, and on the screen of the phone, there was a message ‘My darling baby, if you survive, please remember I love you’ (亲爱的宝贝，假如你能活着，必定要记住我爱你).   This story inspired a blogger to write a poem on the mother.   See below.

The actual narration by the Chinese anchor was much touching and totally filled with sadness.   
http://youtube/uFeUgfKViKU   From this video, see other videos that youtube suggested on the right.   Proceed only if you have a strong heart (nobody warn me when i started clicking on the links).     Then you will realise one tissue box is not enough.

few poems that i found on the net and would like to share:

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必定要记住妈 妈 爱 你

当地震产生的一刻，
天摇地动，
妈妈抱起刚刚熟睡的你，
想以最快的速度冲出去，
然而刹那间楼板断裂，
房檐塌下，
那块大的石板就砸在妈妈的身上，
妈妈只能用跪 下的双腿把你牢牢扣在怀里。
孩子！我好担忧你是否被那恐怖的声音惊醒，
你是否被那砸下的巨石挤痛。
孩子！天越来越黑了，妈妈身体也越来越冷了。
妈妈不知道 我还能撑多久，
不知道还能不能等到救济职员赶来发出呼救的声音。
我多想、多想再亲亲你粉嘟嘟的小脸，
多想、多想再听听你那银铃般的笑声，
更盼望陪同你慢慢 长大的每一天，
听到你那稚嫩的声音叫第一声“妈妈”，
不枉我今生做你的母亲。
亲爱的宝贝，假如你能活着，必定要记住我爱你。

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亲爱的宝贝，你活着妈妈就活着
苏宁

亲爱的宝贝，你还活着
妈妈把生给了你！

这是妈妈第二次给你生命
那一次妈妈在阵痛中
这一次妈妈在天堂里
――现在妈妈再也不能亲你

亲爱的宝贝，你还活着
妈妈把生给了你

这是妈妈第二次给你生命
妈妈用她的未来换来你的未来
妈妈用她的生命给了你的生命
――现在妈妈只在梦里

妈妈一定喂了你最后一次的奶
妈妈一定为你换了最后一次的尿布
妈妈一定吻了你一遍又一遍，直到生命的最尽
妈妈一定曾不停的和你说话，直到再也说不出一个音节

亲爱的宝贝，你活着，这是妈妈的希望
亲爱的宝贝，你活着，妈妈就有希望
――用瘦弱身躯支撑着的希望
――用全部生命托举着的希望

亲爱的宝贝，你活着，妈妈也就活着
你的血管里流淌着的是妈妈的血
你的细胞里是妈妈的基因。
亲爱的宝贝，你活着，妈妈也就活着
你是妈妈在天堂的梦
你是妈妈用尽生命托付的再生
亲爱的宝贝，你活着，妈妈也就活着
你是妈妈生命的延续
你是母爱的永恒
亲爱的宝贝，你活着，妈妈也就活着
在你的生命里

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