Mamapower’s Blog

Just another blog about the ups & downs of a crazy SAHM

till death do us part (ver 2) November 8, 2011

Filed under: Mr. Chairman — mamapower @ 10:22 pm

 

It is a totally different feeling when i did the previous entry of the same title.     Lives have changed so much in just these few weeks… same environment, but different feelings.    Share this song with you.

家后 means wife.   This is a hokkien song that a wife sang to her husband.  I have included the chinese and English translation to the hokkien lyrics.  (Both translations are not of my creation)     Hope you enjoy….

家後
作詞:鄭進一 作曲:鄭進一
http://youtu.be/IBvF2ut5iNc

有一日咱若老 找無人甲咱有孝
如果有一天我们老了,找不到人孝顺我们,
If there is a day when both of us are old, and there is no children by our side

我會陪你坐惦椅寮 聽你講少年的時袸你有外賢
我会陪你坐在椅子上,听你讲年轻的时候你有多棒
Sitting on a bench, I will accompany you,
listening to your younger days stories,

食好食歹無計較 怨天怨地嗎袂曉
不计较吃得好不好,也不会怨天怨地
rich or poor, i do not care.   never to blame heaven and earth

你的手 我會甲你牽條條 因為我是你的家後
我会把你的手紧紧牵着,因为我是你的家后
your hand, I will not let go, because I am your wife

阮將青春嫁治恁兜 阮對少年隨你隨甲老
我将青春嫁到你家,我自年轻跟你跟到老,
I have given my youth to your family, from young till old, I will follow you

人情世事已經看透透 有啥人比你卡重要
人情世事已经看透,有什么人比你更重要
I have seen through all feelings of life and matters,  nothing beats your importance

阮的一生獻乎恁兜 才知幸福是吵吵鬧鬧
我的一生献给給你家,才知幸福是吵吵闹闹,
I have given you my whole life, to find out happiness is actually squabbles and bickerings

等待返去的時袸若到 我會讓你先走
等到离去的时间到了,我会让你先走
When it is time to leave, I will let you go first

因為我會不甘 放你 為我目屎流
因為我会心疼,让你为我流眼泪
Because I will never bear to leave you alone, to cry for me

有一日咱若老 有媳婦子兒有孝
如果有一天我们老了,有媳妇儿子孝顺,
If there is a day when we are both old, there are children by our side

你若無聊 拿咱的相片 看卡早結婚的時袸你外緣投
你若无聊,拿我们的相片,看以前结婚的时候你有多帅
Whenever you are bored, let’s bring out the wedding pictures and look at how handsome you were

穿好穿歹無計較 怪東怪西嗎袂曉
不计较穿得好或坏,也不会怪东怪西,
Rich or poor, not a care, never to blame on small trivial things

你的心 我會永遠記條條 因為我是你的家後
你的心我会永远记住,因为我是你的家后
Your heart will forever remain in mine, because I am your wife

阮將青春嫁治恁兜 阮對少年隨你隨甲老
我将青春嫁到你家,我自年轻跟你跟到老,
I have given my youth to your family, from young till old, I will follow you

人情世事已經看透透 有啥人比你卡重要
人情世事已经看透,有什么人比你更重要
I have seen through all feelings of life and matters, nothing surpasses your importance in me

阮的一生獻乎恁兜 才知幸福是吵吵鬧鬧
我的一生献给給你家,才知幸福是吵吵闹闹,
I have given you my whole life, to find out happiness is actually squabbles and bickerings

等待返去的時袸若到 你著讓我先走
等到离去的时间到了,你要让我先走
When it is time to leave, please let me go first

因為我嘛不甘 看你 為我目屎流
因為我会心疼,看你为我流眼泪
Because I will not bear to look at you drop your tears for me

 

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Filed under: Mr. Chairman — mamapower @ 12:28 am

好美的一句词。。。

死生契阔,与子成说。   执子之手,与子偕老。

 

幸福 August 20, 2011

Filed under: Friday Nites,Mr. Chairman — mamapower @ 10:50 pm

saw this phrase on facebook and found it very touching and true…

一起吃苦也是一种幸福..
不是富有就是幸福的..

Yesterday while we were out makan (Friday Nite!!!), i was telling him that i wasn’t entirely upset about his fall.   Recently, he has been apologising for our predicament.     Yes, we were used to a certain standard of lifestyle, but we can adapt to whatever the situation is bestowed on us.    Most importantly, the unity of family must be strong so  that we can go thru this together.    Everyone is sure to fall at sometime of their lives.    I rather he fell now, then he would fall later of greater height and greater impact.   At least, he has learnt his lesson now and still able to pull himself up again.   Now, what i can do is to take away any unnecessary distraction so that he can concentrate on his work and to build up his business again.   i just hope my mental is strong enough to pull me thru without any meltdown (mine, not KZ!!! hahahaha).   That is why, i am still baking, baking and baking.   i need to fill myself up to the brim so that i got no breath to think otherwise.

19 August, Friday, we went to Macpherson Road to eat 粿汁.   We used to eat this during my uni days.   He would drive to campus to pick me up in the middle of the night (sshhhhh…… my mum dun know leh), and we would sneak out of campus to look for stewed pig intestines.  hahaha  so romantic hor…. Oh, but this Macpherson Road store got deep fried pig intestine….. er…. you either love it or hate it lah… personal taste.

 

TGIF July 25, 2011

Filed under: Friday Nites,Mr. Chairman — mamapower @ 10:30 am

are you curious where we went for our dating last friday…

Orchard Central.

i have never been there before.  Never heard of it before.  (SERIOUS!)  Once i stepped in, i was looking curiously around like a 土包子.   Mr Chairman seemed to know the place very well.  Where were the lifts, the food, the shops…. in another word, he knew the place very well.   i casually mentioned that.   He said i was so suah ku….  ???   And should i be asking WHY am i so suah ku????!!!!!!   Sometimes, men think that SAHMs are so fucking free.   (sorry for my language but can’t help it)

They think we can drop everything, kids, household chores, and just go out like that!   i know they CAN!   But can we?   we have thousands and one strings with fishing hooks pierced to our hearts and pulling it constantly in every direction.   Can we be so free and easy?   Sometimes, i wish i am so 放得下….

anyway, not to spolit my cheerful mood, i brushed his stupid comment aside.   We had dinner at Spageddies and coffee at Spinelli.    We talked again about his troubled business.    We left Orchard Central about 11pm.   He dropped me off at the void deck and speeded off to meet his friend for part 2.    i walked home alone after our “hot” date… wat a night!

Well, he did call me to check whether i reached home safely… ;P      (just to make sure i dun have my own part 2!!!  😛 )

 

till death do us part July 16, 2011

Filed under: Mr. Chairman — mamapower @ 5:58 pm

our relationship has practically comes to a halt.   He is so busy with his new venture that he is hardly at home, while i am so busy with the kids.

His conversations are the predictable few:

“i am home.”

“i am going to gym.”

“i am going to work.”

After eight years of smoke-free, he has started smoking again.   i caught him a few times.   Each and every time, he said that was the last stick.  He said he got tough issues that he could not crack and that he could not tell me about.   When i talked to him about the smoking, he shut me up with “Don’t talk about this anymore!”

To save whatever we have left in our relationship, i nagged (or FORCED) Mr. Chairman to have dinner with me alone (without the kids) on every Friday.   It took a lot of guts and determination to do this.   We have to face KJ’s questioning on why we not bring him along, we have to face KZ’s questioning whether we still love him (????!!!)  and we have to face Princess’ pleading eyes as we walked out the front door.

We have dated for 2 Fridays and it was wonderful.

Yesterday we went to Ngee Ann City for dinner, shopping and coffee.   We chatted about life and the children.   I avoided the taboo subjects (smoking and work).    We reached home near midnight and the children were all asleep.    (I have to thank my dear helper for this.)

i hope we can continue this couple-night and hopefully…. (keeping my fingers crossed) we can stay happily and lovingly till death do us part.

 

me slacking? February 17, 2011

Filed under: Daily Gossips,Maid's Issues,Mama Power,Mama's Kitchen,Mr. Chairman — mamapower @ 10:07 am

i have been a bit slack in my posting.

partly due to my mood swing and secondly due to a new phone.   Mr Chairman got me a iphone and “forced” me to use it.

Yes, me the ungrateful bitch, i said “forced”.

i dun like high ended  techology gadget phones.   i know what’s my qualifications (Chairman always uses this to taunt me).  But now i prefer simplicity.   i need a phone to CALL and TAKE PICTURES.  That’s all.  Full stop.

After using the iphone, i am lost.   i dun know how to compose message, how to save pictures into my pc, how to upload my fav songs to my phone, etc.   i have been feeling handicup for the last few days.   However, i was not born stupid.   i am learning and coping with this new phone.   And Mr Chairman has been most patient with me by helping to setup fb and email in the iphone.    Hopefully i can handle it by end of this week.

i got my new oven.  But i can’t show you yet.  (dun know how to save pictures to my computer)

i want to show you Princess’s first poop in potty.  (already up in facebook)

i want to show you more of Princess’s pictures.  (hmmm…. same reason)

hopefully, next post i got pictures up and going.

Another thing is that, now, with my capable maid cooking all meals, i hardly needed in the kitchen to do experiments.   Thus, Mama’s Kitchen has not been updating for the longest time.  i will do so soon.

My maid, thou, is very good in cooking, she is not daring to experiment new recipes.  She is doing repeative dishes which i had taught her.  By now, she is also running out of ideas and has been asking what we want to eat instead of planning the meals herself.    i am not blaming her.   Having able to plan and prepare our meals for the past 8 or 9 months (since the arrival of Princess), she must have exhausted all her brain juice.   She is a gem that is so hard to find.  i appreciate her hardwork and will miss her when her contract ends at the end of this year….

 

lousy feeling February 9, 2011

Filed under: Daily Gossips,Mama Power,Mr. Chairman — mamapower @ 10:38 pm

“dear, why don’t you go exercise?”

“don’t you think you are fat?”

“i will sign you up and we go gym together”

“don’t give excuse that you don’t have time, just plan and do it”

these are the recent comments that i get from Chairman.   every single one hurts like hell.    i asked him if he was saying that i should drop everything and leave all children at home with the helper to go gym?  and he answered “why not?”

it sounds so easy for him.   Well, in fact, it has been very easy for him.  every evening, he will just drops everything and go gym at 5pm.   Workout for two hours and shower, he won’t be home till 8plus to 9.   He don’t bring the kids to school and he don’t bring them home from school.  He don’t bring them for enrichment classes.   In fact, he don’t even remember which are the days for the enrichment classes.   He don’t go thru their school work.   He don’t know what is going on at home.   It has been so easy for him.   Did i make it so easy life for him.   No.  i did not.  He did it himself.  He is able to just pull himself out of the situation – just like that.   i can’t.

My kids are not ordinary kids.   They are not easy to handle.    i have never leave the two boys and princess to be with the helper alone.   never – too dangerous.    the few times that i left one boy and princess with helper proved to be too risky.   The boy (KJ or KZ) would carry princess out of the sarong, trying to lift her up and dropped her immediately upon seeing the helper, gave his toy to princess, swinging princess in her walker, etc.

Out of good will, people are asking or forcing me to stop nursing Princess.   They think i am too tired and stressed out because of breastfeeding.   Frankly, nursing is the most peaceful time of the day.   It is only precious, quiet moments between Princess and myself.   It is the only thing that i can successful achieved in my homemaker life.  It is my own glory which i attained thru a lot of hard work and commitment.     Put it simple, seems like this is the only thing i can do well.   i am holding on to this special skill of mine, refusing to let it go…

Another part of me is losing something too… my sanity.     i am not really aware of issues that upset me but some days just strike me like a lightning bolt and i will seep into a depressed mood.   It is a sinking feeling.   Sinking into a dark deep water, where my feet can’t touch the ground and my hands can’t feel the wall.   when it happens, i will not know how to pull myself ashore, but will just let myself floating and sinking out to the dark water.   Somehow, after a few days, the current will bring me back to shore.

Each time with an attack, i would tell or beg Chairman to bring me to see doctor.   Everytime, he promised he would do that.   However, the very next day, he had completely forgotten about the issue, till i suffered another attack.   A never ending cycle.

i realised i can’t hold on to the thinking that my husband will be there to protect and guide me.  i have to seek help on my own.  He has always looks up to me for being independent.    ( 苦笑)    But it is so weird to see a psychiatrist on post natal depression without my husband.  It is like going to see a gynae with regards to my pregnancy without a husband along.   Probably the first question the doctor will ask is “Does your husband knows that you are here?”

我不可以象别人妻子那样依 偎在丈夫的胸膛。我没这福份。